Think back to when you first started dating your significant other; Remember that first date? You may have spent two hours putting on your make up, straightening that same piece of hair 20 times, and might have gone shopping for a brand-new outfit. When I think back to my first date with Tommy, I remember getting all dressed up, curling my hair, and even getting help from my roommate with my makeup. I also remember changing my outfit several times only to end up back where I started, wearing the first thing I had on. I was so nervous and felt lots of butterflies, actually it felt more like humming birds. They were flying around so much in my stomach that I felt nauseous.
Those feelings, the time spent getting ready, this is what you should never stop feeling or doing once you’re married. After marriage, life can get busy. Maybe you bought a house, got a dog, or have started a family. Even though these are wonderful things, all three of them can take away from your time spent with each other.
So, Tommy and I promised each other that once we were married we would schedule a weekly date. During our date nights, we talk about our future, our goals, and how we’re going to reach them, we tell funny stories, and just have fun. Now that we’ve been married for over six months, I can say these date nights are by far my favorite part of being married. I look forward to them every week and get excited to plan the next one.
From one newlywed to another, I encourage you to incorporate date nights into your marriage. They’re fun, romantic, and they keep the hummingbirds alive. Having dated my husband consistently over the past several months, I’ve come up with a few tips for getting the most out of your dates.
Tip #1: Unplug. Putting phones away is a crucialpart of a date night, especially with the endless amount of time spent on the Internet and social media these days. For me it was especially important, since my career revolves around my cell phone. I hate going out for dinner and seeing other couples sit across from each other while deep into their phones. Sometimes they go through the entire dinner without even making eye contact or saying one word! Put the phone away, it will be there when dinner is over.
Tip #2: Pick a day. Setting aside a day of the week for your date is extremely important, and I don’t recommend weekends either. It’s far more likely that something will come up on a Saturday or Sunday than a weekday. You may have friends ask you to go out for dinner or hang out and before you know it date night is pushed back to next week. Tommy and I set ours for Wednesdays, because it’s the middle of the week and a perfect way to break it up. Obviously, life happens and things come up, but it’s better to have a set day each week and then adjust if needed.
Tip #3: Make it just the two of you. Bouncing off of tip #2, don’t let anyone else interfere with your date night. Just because you both went out for dinner with another couple doesn’t mean you should count that as your date night for the week. This should be treated as a time when the two of you can talk about your dreams, your secrets, your most embarrassing moments, etc. Once kids come along, don’t forget about this either. Hire a babysitter and go out, alone.
Tip #4: Get dressed up. Treat this like your first date. Curl your hair, put on fake eyelashes, buy a new outfit (probably not every week or your shopping addiction may be the topic of date night, BEEN THERE!). Whatever you have to do to treat it as a real “first date” experience, do it.
Tip #5: Switch it up. Each week, do something different! Since Tommy and I recently moved to Denver, we have been trying out as many new restaurants as possible and that makes it much more fun! Don’t go to the same restaurant every single week, because it will become boring and too much like a routine. Date nights don’t always have to be a dinner out. Go golfing, see a movie, go to the zoo, visit a museum, there are plenty of things to do that don’t require money – get creative!
The most important thing is to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. Marriage should be about spending time together, don’t let your busy life get in the way of it.
Until next time.
Peace & Love,